Books on dating a recovering alcoholic
There is nothing wrong with making a suggestion but I have to practice letting go.”Jill wishes she could.But she struggles with the fact that “alcoholics can be stubborn and we always think we what’s right.” Yet she also admits that underneath her desire to control is a fear that Ryan may relapse.
“But if the sober couple uses the tools of the 12 steps and applies them to their relationship, they can find themselves in a better partnership than most.There will always be another excuse, another mistake, another relapse, another addiction or anger about a parent’s addiction that they need their lifetime and yours to get over. When my husband first relapsed after his mother died, my well-meaning Christian father told me to “just love him.” But that’s the problem with the addict; the more you love, the more they take of you and everything else, until there’s nothing left to give. While most other people tried to be polite, or pray for me, their comments seemed to gently gloss over what was actually happening. Both the addict and the co-dependent will do anything to hide their sense of inadequacy.I realized over the years I had become less of myself. When someone doesn’t fit into the perceived notion of what an addict is, it’s hard for people to know what to say. There is nobody that tries harder at being “normal” than an alcoholic and his/her family.Though they might have a higher sensitivity to critical comments, they also have access to tools that can help them to be both loving and kind and honest.It can be fantastic.” While Bryan admits it hasn’t always been easy, he now believes that when both people are in the program, “they’re more willing to work on themselves.