With my luck, chickens are bound to turn up on a date sometime soon.) The night went swimmingly, we chatted for hours which seemed like minutes and my fear of Welsh people was appeased to the extent I was now imagining having little, beardy, Welsh Daffodil babies called Yanto, Dai and Bryn.I text my friend who’d introduced us and asked him if he’d be Godfather to our future little Welsh-Scouse mongrels, which he unkindly labelled mini Orcs. The dickhead would probably only try and make them support Everton anyway. Waterworks, however, would have meant I’d come across like a nuts, needy lunatic; not the cool, calm and breezy chick I was trying to portray. He was off, returning to his homeland, where puppies in burning buildings needed him more than me (note to self: he travelled by train, not horse).But it’s something about wanting the one that you can’t have that makes you want them more. The thing is, they pick up the scent of BBB lunacy.Instead of making him want you, like you assume your witty replies and pouty selfies uploaded only when he’s online do, these behaviours actually make him run for the hills (or Valleys, in my case).It reminds me of Kahl Drago (Game of Thrones reference again).In fact, there’s a whole Kahl Drago thing going on with The Welshman. In fact, I definitely think he should take up plaiting the beard, wearing a bit of eyeliner and riding round on horseback.
But deep down we know we’re just a BBB; we just don’t want to admit it to ourselves.
I mean The Welshman is also quite terrifying to look at (terrifying in a Grrrrrr masculine way, as opposed to a Quasimodo-ugly, terrifying way).
He’s 6’ 3’’, 19 stone of muscle and increasingly beardy by the day.
I said novenas to Our Lady (it’s a Catholic thing) that either (a) a super high speed London-Swansea train was developed or (b) someone invented that Star Trek transporter thing.
It was sad times after The Welshman returned to Cymru.
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This fear is reinforced annually around February when you see lots of them cheer their rugby team on in the Six Nations dressed up as giant human daffodils.